


It's Not Always Easy

by Jellybean96



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence - No HYDRA reveal, Canon Divergence - Season 1B, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Ward isn't Hydra, descriptions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-24 12:16:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4919269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellybean96/pseuds/Jellybean96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He still sees the images of that day in his head. He still hears everything from that day too. Every night he wakes up in a cold sweat because of it. He wishes that he could forget everything. He doesn't want to forget her, just everything that happened. But sometimes, forgetting isn't all that easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey babes! Here's a new story for ya.  
> I've actually had this one written for quite a while. It was up on FF.net for a while, but then I took it down from there and am re-uploading it there (as well as here) because there were some changes I wanted to make to it.  
> Anywho, I hope you enjoy this story. :)

_"Tell me what I want to know, Agent Ward."_

_"I'm not telling you anything," Ward says harshly, his wrists struggling against the rough ropes holding him to the cold metal chair._

_"You see," the mysterious man says, "that is not what I wanted to hear." He steps towards Ward and stoops down so he's looking him right in the eyes, "I think you'll change your mind though."_

_"Why would I do that?"_

_The man stands up straight and paces the room once more, "Because I have your girlfriend." He walks over to a table holding a single laptop, and lifts the lid, turning the screen so that Ward can see it._

_As he looks at the screen, he feels as if his heart stops. He sees Skye, bound to a chair by her arms and legs. Her head is down, but he can tell that she's still alive._

_"Go ahead," the man says, "speak to her. She can hear you."_

_"Skye?" Ward says, looking directly at the screen. He sees her head shoot up and look around._

_"Grant?"_

_"I'm here, Rookie. I'm in another room, but I'm still here."_

_"What do they want?" he can hear the pain and fear in her voice._

_"They want information from me."_

_"Don't tell them, Grant! Don't tell them anything!"_

_A man steps into view on the screen and raises his arm, letting it fall across Skye's cheek._

_Grant pulls at his restraints, wanting to lunge at the man in front of him. "Don't touch her!" he yells._

_"Tell us what we want to know, and we won't hurt her."_

_"I'm not telling you!"_

_"Oh really?" the man says. He pulls a small device out of his pocket and taps a few buttons. Then grant sees a man walk into the screen again, holding a long stick in his hands. He sees the stick light up and the man touches it against Skye's body. He sees her head fall back as she cries out in pain. He can see her face clearly now, covered in bruises and blood._

_"Stop!" Grant shouts. The man removes the stick and he sees Skye go limp in the chair. The man in front of him stoops down to his level again. "I'll tell you."_

_"That's what I thought." The man gives him an evil smile. "Now, tell me how I can get into S.H.I.E.L.D.'s mainframe. Without hacking, I don't want to draw any attention to myself."_

_"Use my information. Username is my first and last name, all caps. Password is what we think Skye's birthday is."_

_"How romantic," he says sarcastically. "When is her supposed birthday?"_

_"January 18, 1988. All numbers, no spaces."_

_The man smiles again, "Perfect. That's just what I needed."_

_Grant relaxes slightly, "Now let her go."_

_"Ummm, no. I don't think I will."_

_"But I told you what you wanted to know!"_

_"The thing is, you took forever. And I'm not too keen on waiting."_

_"What are you going to do to her?"_

_"This." He presses a few more buttons on his device and Grant turns to watch the screen. He watches as the man electrifies Skye again, and he hears her scream out again. The man pushes the stick into her side even harder, causing her to scream out even louder. The man pulls the stick away and then quickly shoves it back into Skye's side. Then he pulls it away and throws a punch across Skye's face, hitting her square in the jaw. He can see blood trickling down her mouth, and tears falling from her eyes._

_"Now this," the man in front of Grant says, "this is what happens because you were being uncooperative, and taking too long to tell me what I wanted to know, and simply because I hate S.H.I.E.L.D. and anyone affiliated with it." he pulls out his device once more and presses a few more buttons. The guy on the screen reaches into a case on the floor and pulls something out. Walking up to Skye, he holds it up and Grant gets a good look at what it is. A gun._

_His eyes go wide and he screams out, "No! I told you what you wanted to know! Just don't do this!"_

_"It's too late, Grant."_

_He presses a hand to his ear and speaks, "Do it."_

_Grant's head flies back to the screen, just in time to see the man pull the trigger._

_"NO!"_

* * *

 Grant sits up quickly in his bed, sweat dripping from his body, breathing heavily. He rubs his hands down his face, sighing deeply. Glancing over at his clock, he takes notice of the time. 2:37 AM. Again. Sighing once again, he drags himself up out of his bed. Pulling on a pair of sweats, and a plain white t-shirt, he exits his bunk. Making his way down the hall, he stops in front of her bunk. Well, it used to be her bunk. He just stares inside the room, staring as all of the memories of her come rushing back into his head. He sees her smile, he hears her laugh. He remembers their first kiss, their first time, the first time they said 'I love you', all the times they repaired one another from another mission. So many other things they'd never be able to do.

It's been like this for the past two months. Every night he has the same nightmare, reliving that awful moment over and over. Then he wakes up early in the morning in a cold sweat, and goes to her bunk. And he just stares; he can't help but stare. Every night he hopes that it's all just an awful nightmare, just fake. He hopes that when he goes to her bunk, she'll be there, safe and asleep. But she never is.

Stepping away from her bunk, he continues down the hallway until he reaches the spiral, metal staircase. He walks down the stairs into the cargo bay, heading straight for the punching bag hanging from the ceiling. It's the last part of his routine, working out his frustrations. He stands in front of the punching bag, getting into his ready stance. Then he swings, his fist making contact with the punching bag. He takes swing after swing, hitting the bag as hard as he can. With each swing he takes, his mind flashes back to that day. He keeps seeing her limp, lifeless body being held in his arms as he talks to her, trying to save her life. But he couldn't. And he's hated himself everyday because of that.

* * *

 He's not sure how much time has gone by when he hears footsteps on the metal staircase. He doesn't look up, just keeps on punching. He's ignoring whoever it is that's coming down the stairs, focusing all of his thoughts on his punches.

"It's been two months." Grant stops punching and looks up to see Agent Phil Coulson standing on the staircase, one hand on the rail, staring at him.

"You think I don't know that?" Grant says, maybe slightly harsher than he should have. "You think I haven't been counting the days since she's been gone? You think I haven't been having dreams of that day? Hoping that just once, just once, it'll all be a horrible dream. That I'll just wake up one day and she'll still be here. With that messy bed head she has every morning, and that smile she gets when she's finally figured out how to do something properly while training, and her determination to learn everything she can. It's all gone! She's never coming back!" he throws another punch at the bag before falling to his knees.

"I won't tell you that it's easy, Grant," Coulson says, still from his spot on the stairs. "But it gets easier."

He scoffs, "It gets easier? Losing the love of your life gets easier?"

"Over time."

"Whatever," Grant says, turning away from Coulson, messing with the wraps on his hands.

"Fine then," Coulson sighs, realizing his isn't going to get anywhere at this point.

Grant listens as Coulson's shoes hit the metal steps as he makes his way back upstairs. He sits there for a moment longer, unable to really move from his spot. He keeps thinking back to her, all of the time they spent together and all of the times they will never get to spend together.

Standing up from his spot, he moves back in front of the punching bag. There's no way he's going to be able to get back to sleep now, so he might as well finish what he started. He throws punch after punch at the bag in front of him, images flashing again. He just wants it all to stop. He wants it to get easier. He wants to forget.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babes! So glad you all enjoyed the first chapter so much. Yeah, I know it's super sad/depressing. I don't even remember how I came up with this idea in the first place, it's been so long.
> 
> But anywho, hope you enjoy!

The next morning it happens to him again. He has the same exact nightmare and wakes up in the same cold sweat. He travels down to her bunk again and stares inside of it, letting all of the memories of her hit him again. Then he goes downstairs and works out. It's been his routine everyday for two months. He barely even talks to, or looks at anyone. He's reverted back into his ways of doing missions on his own. He gets in, does what needs to be done, and gets out. He's taken on a new daily routine as well.

After he works out, he goes upstairs and has breakfast. Then he sits by himself and doesn't talk to anyone and then he works out some more. Then he comes back up for lunch. When he eats his lunch, he briefly checks to see if there are any new missions he should be aware of. Then he goes down and works out again. He comes back up at dinner time, sitting alone again, and doesn't speak to anyone. Then he works out for a while longer before he showers and heads to bed at exactly eight o'clock. And when two o'clock rolls around the next morning, he does it all again. It's the new rhythm he has fallen into.

Everyone else finds it unnerving. They fear he's ruining himself, in a sense. For the last two years, he never really had a routine, or if he did, it was very subtle. And most of it involved Skye.

They'd workout throughout the day, but they'd also lounge about, either in the lounge area or in either of their bunks. Not an unhealthy lounge about, but they'd just relax. Or they'd do things to stimulate their brains. The rest of the team had grown very accustomed to it, mostly because they liked seeing him act like an actual person. They liked that version of Grant. Far better than this newer version. He never spoke to them, unless it was absolutely necessary. And that usually meant it had something to do with a mission. And vice versa. None of them would ever interrupt his routine unless it was for a mission. It was sort of like an unwritten, unspoken rule of sorts.

* * *

Grant is throwing punch after punch at the punching bag hanging in front of him. He had just eaten lunch a little while ago and is now in the middle of his afternoon workout. He throws one more punch to the bag and then stops it from swaying back and forth. Stepping away from the bag, he walks towards the chin up bar and positions himself correctly. He reaches his arms up and grabs the rod in his hands, using all of his strength to pull himself up off of the floor.

As he continues with his pull-ups, images of that day still flash through his mind. He's on his 90th pull up when he hears those shoes on the stairs again. He doesn't look up.

"Agent Ward. We need you upstairs."

Grant stops his pull ups, but doesn't look at Coulson, "Is it a case, sir?"

"Now, Agent Ward," Coulson demands and then turns and walks away.

Reluctantly, Grant stops with his pull ups completely and reaches for his water bottle. He takes a nice, long drink from it before he begins to make his way up the stairs.

When he gets upstairs into the main area, everyone is there. FitzSimmons, May, Coulson, and a girl he's never seen before.

"Well," Coulson speaks, "now that everyone is here, we can get started." He walks over and stands next to the mysterious girl. She's medium height, has long blonde hair that's pulled up into a ponytail on top of her head, has light green eyes, and a smile on her face. "Everyone, this is Charlotte Young, she's our new computer specialist. Charlotte, this is the team. Our pilot, Agent Melinda May; our resident scientists, FitzSimmons; and Agent Grant Ward. He will be your S.O., the one who will train you so you have enough skill to defend yourself if such a time arises."

"Great," Charlotte says, that smile still on her face. "But please, call me Charlie."

"Alright," Coulson nods his head. "Welcome aboard, Charlie."

She smiles, "Thanks. I'm so happy to be here. I'm really looking forward to being on your team. I've heard so many stories about what you guys have done."

"Well we're glad to have you with us, Charlie," Coulson says, a smile evident on his face as well, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"I just have one question."

"Ask away."

"Well, I was really hoping to meet your computer specialist. I don't remember her name, but I've heard that she's done some pretty awesome things with computers. Though now that I think about it, why would you need me, if you have her?"

Everyone's posture changes slightly at the mention of Skye, even though it wasn't by her name. They've all been avoiding saying her name, or referring to her in the presence of Grant. The new girl didn't know that though.

"She's no longer with the team," Coulson says sadly.

"Oh," Charlie says, slightly confused, "okay. Well, I can't wait to get started. First I wanna check out where I'll be staying, and then I'd love to check out the—"

"Two months, sir." Grant cuts in, looking down, his hands gripping the back of one of the chairs.

"Agent Ward?"

Grant lifts his head up and looks at Coulson, "It's been two months and you've already replaced her. She was a member of this team, an  _excellent_  member of this team. Even if she didn't always think like us, or play by the rules, that's what made her a great asset to the team."

"You don't need to remind me about that, Agent Ward. I'm the one who brought her on in the first place."

"Obviously someone does need to remind you, sir."

"It's been long enough, Ward," Coulson says. "We need a computer specialist."

"Two months is not long enough," Grant snaps. "And what we really need is for her to be back. But that's not going to happen." He turns and looks at Charlie, "Welcome to the team. Be down in the cargo bay at seven o'clock sharp for training. For every minute your late, it's ten pushups."

With that, he stalks off, going back down to the cargo bay to work out his frustrations again. He doesn't want to train the new girl. That's how he and Skye became so close, and he refuses to get close to anyone else. He won't let it happen, not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What did you think? Let me know in a review down below. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
> 
> Until next time,  
> Jellybean96 out!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babes! So glad you're all enjoying this story.
> 
> Here's the next one for ya! :)
> 
> Enjoy!

*5 years later*

The nightmares don't come as often anymore. He still gets them, but not as frequently. Usually it's when it's getting closer to the actual day. He's never forgotten what day it happened, because it was one of the worst days of his life. He doesn't get up quite as early anymore either, only when he has the nightmares. The rest of the team has noticed a change in him; he's more relaxed again, not completely, but more so than he was five years ago. They also notice how close he's gotten to Charlie, not as close as he was to Skye, but closer than he was five years ago. He's noticed these small changes in himself too. And it worries him. He doesn't want to get too close to Charlie, but he can't help himself. She reminds him so much of Skye, not because of her looks, but because of her personality. And her skills with computers. He doesn't think she's as good as Skye, nobody does, but she still has skills. He isn't sure he can handle much more of the haunting reminders that she brings him.

* * *

"Okay," Charlie says as the team gathers together around the holotable in the debriefing room. "I think I might have found the guy we've been looking for." She presses a few buttons on the table and then a picture shows up on the screen. It shows a man who looks to be in his early 40's, his brown hair is starting to grey; his bright green eyes are staring at them. "His name is…"

"Vladislav Pavlenko," Grant finishes for her. "He works for the Russian mob and has some operations here in America. He has a long-standing grudge with S.H.I.E.L.D., though no one really knows why. He's a killer, a vicious man, and will stop at nothing to get what he wants. He's been in hiding for the last five years and we haven't been able to locate him. Until now that is, when he apparently decided to show up."

"Wow," Charlie says in shock, looking at Grant. She turns back to the screen and presses some more buttons. "When I was digging into Vladislav, I found a file. There wasn't much in the electronic version. All it says is that it was one of his most brutal killings. Happened about five years ago to a girl named Skye, no last name." Everyone goes stiff. "In the file it says that she was a…"

"We know who she was, Charlie," Coulson interrupts.

She looks up at him, "Really? How?"

"Because she was ours."

Charlie glances at each member of the team, taking in their expressions. Coulson and May both look stoic, though she can see slight hints of sadness in both of their eyes. FitzSimmons is standing very close together, leaning on one another for support as they look down at the ground. And then there's Grant. Charlie can definitely see the changes this news brought to him. His eyes flash sadness, his body is slumped, one hand resting on the table for support. He's breathing deeply, trying to calm his nerves and his anger.

"Wait, is Skye your hacker?"

"Was," Grant clarifies, "she  _was_  our hacker. But she's dead now, because of me. And the monster that killed her got away." Grant stands up straight and stalks out of the room.

"I don't understand," Charlie furrows her brows. "Why was she killed?"

"It was all a mission gone wrong," Simmons speaks up, "it should have never ended the way it did." She stops before she spills tears. Burying her face in Fitz's shirt, the memories of that day come rushing back all at once.

"All we really know," Coulson speaks, "is that Skye went in with Ward to help him subdue Pavlenko. Unfortunately, Pavlenko and his men captured them before they could escape. He wouldn't let them go until Ward gave him what he wanted."

"And what was that?"

"We don't know, even to this day. Ward filled out the forms when he was able to, and then the file got put away. No one can access that file."

"So, if Ward gave him what he wanted, wouldn't he have let Skye go?"

"If only that were true," Coulson sighs. "All we know is that she was shot in the stomach."

"That's awful," Charlie says quietly, almost inaudible. She can feel tears stinging her eyes at hearing such a sad story.

"Ward tried to save her," Fitz speaks up, clinging to Simmons. "When we got there and untied him he started running through the building, trying to find the room she was in so he could save her. But he couldn't. There was too much damage."

"So Ward wants to get back at this Pavlenko guy because he killed a member of the team," Charlie clarifies out loud.

"They were more than just teammates," May informs the young agent. "They were seeing each other. Their three year anniversary was only about a week away," May looks as if she's in a far off place as she tells this piece of information. "He was going to take her somewhere special." With that, May walks out of the room, towards the direction of the cockpit.

"I'm gonna take her back to her bunk now," Fitz informs the two remaining team members in the room. "Come on Jemma," he whispers, gently taking her hand and leading her down the hallway to their bunk.

"The day Skye died was a tragic day for everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D.," Coulson tells the young girl in front of him. "She wasn't just an asset to this team, but to the entirety of S.H.I.E.L.D. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some things I need to get done." Coulson gives one last look to Skye's photo on the large screen and then sighs, walking out of the room.

Charlie watches as Coulson removes himself from the room. Her gaze goes back to the picture on the large screen in front of her. It's a picture of Skye, smiling brightly; the smile can be seen in her eyes. She looks genuinely happy. It's weird for her, Charlie, to be in this position now. To be the computer specialist in this group when she knows the true story behind why Skye is no longer on the team.

Taking one last look at the large screen, she closes each file, saving them away safely. Turning the screen off, she leaves the room and heads in the direction of her bunk. As she walks away, all she thinks about is Skye. She thinks about everything that Skye did for the team, and everything she could've done for the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What did you think? Let me know in a review down below!
> 
> Also, if you're interested in helping me out with my other story, Luck of the Draw, I need some twitter handles for one chapter. If you don't mind yours being used, just let me know. Thanks. :)
> 
> Until next time,  
> Jellybean96 out!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babes! So glad you're all enjoying this story. Here's the next chapter for ya.
> 
> Now then, enjoy!

"Come on," Charlie pleads with Ward in the cargo bay, "let me go too."

"Absolutely not," Ward says, checking his gun.

"Please? Why won't you let me go with you?!"

"You aren't ready for this kind of mission," he sighs, putting his gun into its holster and then making his way up the stairs.

"Are you kidding me?" she follows after him. "I've been training my butt off for the last five years, just waiting for the opportunity to actually use everything I've learned. But you still won't let me. I'm ready for this."

"No you aren't," Ward says, walking into the kitchen. "You're ready when I say you're ready."

"That's so unfair though!"

"Yeah, well life isn't fair," Ward grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge and holds it in his hands, "Sometimes life doesn't let you have something you really want, and you just have to deal with it."

"So that's what this is about," Charlie says, the realization of the situation dawning on her. "This is about Skye. I get it now."

"You don't know anything!" Grant exclaims, slamming the door of the fridge closed.

"Actually, I think I do," she says somewhat softly. "You don't want the same thing to happen to me that happened to her. You don't want that because you don't think I'm ready."

Ward spins around and looks at her, "That's exactly right. I don't think you're ready. Skye thought she was ready to go up against this guy and now she's dead. She wasn't ready, but I let her go with me anyways, and she died because of it. Because she wasn't ready."

"But that won't happen," Charlie steps forward and looks at him more clearly. "I won't let that happen, and I know you won't let that happen either."

"You can't be sure of that. None of us can be sure of what will happen. That's why it's better that you stay here instead of going in with me."

Charlie sighs, "Whatever. But just so you know, I feel like I don't even know you. We've been working together for almost five years and I've told you everything about me, but I know absolutely nothing about you. I've told you pretty much every good and bad thing that has happened to me, but you never talk about that day. That day five years ago that you hate so much. I'm not telling you that you have to tell me, but it'd be nice to know something." She turns and walks away when Ward speaks up.

"I try to forget."

Charlie turns around, "What?"

He walks towards the couches, "I haven't told you about that day because I try to forget everything that happened." He sits down on one of the couches and sighs as Charlie sits down across from him.

"You don't have to tell me if you can't handle it," she tells him sincerely.

He shakes his head, "I want to. I need to."

"Okay," she nods her head. "I'm listening."

He takes a deep breath, "It was one of the worst days of my life. She came with me to this building so she could disable all of the security systems allowing me to get inside. She would have stayed on the BUS but she had to be close to the building or else it wouldn't work. After that she was supposed to go back to the BUS. But she begged me to let her come inside with me; she even gave me that pouty face she always did when she wanted me to do something."

He smiles a little at the memory.

"I knew she wasn't ready to handle Pavlenko, but I caved and let her come inside with me. She knew I would, which is why she pouted; I always gave in when she did that." He shakes his head, "Anyways, when we got inside, things were off to a pretty good start. We got about halfway into the building and then we were attacked. Skye and I tried to fight them off, but they caught us in the end. Pavlenko had us put in separate rooms and beaten. He had Skye beaten a lot more than me. Eventually he made me watch from a screen that he had set up. His partner beat her and electrocuted her, just so he could get information out of me, because he knew of our relationship. I don't even know he knew.

"I eventually told him what he wanted to know; my access codes for the S.H.I.E.L.D. mainframe. I asked him to let her go because I told him the codes. But he had a different idea. He had his partner shoot her. He had her shot without a second thought. Right in the stomach so she'd bleed out slowly but with a lot of blood loss. And he made me watch. By the time the team got to us, we were too late. She wasn't going to make it. When the team got there and freed me, I ran straight to the room she was in. It took me a while to find her, but when I did, she was lying on the floor bleeding out."

He swallows thickly at the memory of finding her on the floor.

"I held her in my arms as she died. I was the last face she saw, and my name was the last she said. When we buried her, the only people who were there were people involved in S.H.I.E.L.D. She didn't have any family we could contact; she was an orphan. Not even any of her former Rising Tide associates showed up. Besides us, she had no one. She was young, too. Too young to die."

He's quiet for a moment as more memories of her flash in his mind.

"And the worst part is, I was going to ask her to marry me. The week after that mission was going to be three years since we started dating. I had asked Coulson for permission to take Skye somewhere nice. All anyone else knows is that I was going to take her out for a nice dinner."

He pauses, remembering Skye's face when he told her about their dinner reservations for the following week. He swallows thickly, "Now we'll never get to. And I've lost the girl of my dreams. She broke down all of my walls, and saw me as more than just a…a robot," he smiles at the nickname she had come up with for him so long ago. "And I'll never get her back; I'll never get to spend any more time with her. All because I let her go into that building with me." He drops his head into his hands as the tears silently start to fall from his eyes.

Charlie swallows her tears, sitting on the couch silently. She doesn't know what to say to him. He finally told her about his worst moment, and she has absolutely nothing to say to him about it.

"I'm so sorry," she speaks up. "I didn't know."

He looks up at her, "It's fine. It's not something I really like to talk about. You're actually the first person I've told all of this to."

She gives him a small smile, "Well I'm honored."

"Yeah," Ward says, standing up from the couch. "Well, I'll be in my bunk. Have someone let me know when we're landed." And with that, he walks off towards his bunk. Charlie watches him walk off and then just remains on the couch, not moving.

Now that she knows the truth, she's going to drop the subject. If he says that she isn't ready, she's going to take his word for it. She doesn't want him to have to suffer through that all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, now Charlie knows what happened that day. What did you think? Let me know in a review down below.
> 
> Also, if you're interested in being featured in my other story Luck of the Draw, and you have a twitter handle, let me know.
> 
> Until next time,  
> Jellybean96 out!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babes! Got a new chapter for ya!
> 
> Enjoy!

He still has a picture of her. It sits on his nightstand and he always looks at it before he falls asleep. It's his favorite picture of her, taken years ago on their two year anniversary. In the background of the photo, it shows the Golden Gate Bridge standing firm in all its glory. Skye had never been to see the Golden Gate Bridge, so as soon as he had found out, he decided that he was going to take her there. He set up a picnic on a hilltop that overlooked the bridge. She was so excited the entire day from the moment they stepped out of the SUV. She kept glancing back at the bridge the entire day to make sure it was actually there and not just a figment of her imagination. He had loved her reaction so much, that whenever things got bad, he'd go back to that moment; one of his favorite moments with her.

* * *

_"Can't you just tell me where we're going?" Skye prods her boyfriend as he sits on his computer in their bed. She's sitting next to him up on her knees, her arms wrapped loosely around his neck._

_"Nope," he shakes his head. "It's a surprise."_

_"Please?" she tries again, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "If you love me, you'll tell me where you're taking me."_

_He turns towards her, only inches from her lips. "I do love you," he smiles, pressing a kiss to her lips. He pulls away, "but I'm not telling you anything."_

_He smirks and turns back to his computer, watching out of the corner of his eye as she pouts, falling backwards onto the bed and then flipping over to bury her face in the comforter. He chuckles at her antics and goes back to what he was doing before._

_A few minutes later, he shuts the lid of computer, setting it off to the side. He looks over to see Skye still lying with her face buried. "Skye," he whispers, thinking she is asleep. "Skye," he says a bit louder._

_"What?" she mumbles into the blanket._

_"Wake up," he tells her. "It's time to leave."_

_"I don't want to," she says back._

_"I guess no special surprise for you then," he stands up from the bed._

_She quickly shoots up in the bed and looks at him, eyes wide. "Where are we going?" she asks eagerly._

_"Not telling. But what I_ can _tell you is that you're going to want to put something else on."_

_"I can't just wear this?" she asks him, gesturing to her outfit; a pair of booty shorts and a bra._

_"As much as I would love to keep looking at this beautiful sight in front of me, you really do have to change. Where we are going it would be highly inappropriate for you to dress like this."_

_She huffs, "Fine."_

_"Thank you," he smiles. "When you are ready, I'll be waiting by the car." He turns and makes his way out of their bunk and towards the cargo hold._

 

_A few minutes later he sees her walk down the spiral staircase, completely dressed. She's wearing a pair of faded blue jeans, a short sleeved grey t-shirt with her red flannel over top and unbuttoned, and a pair of black flats. He smiles at her and she smiles back._

_"I'm ready," she says when she walks up to him._

_"Not quite yet," Grant tells her. "Put this on," he hands her a blindfold._

_"A blindfold? Seriously?" she raises an eyebrow._

_"Yep. I'm not telling you where we're going. So you can't see where we're going," he smirks._

_"Whatever. I'm not going to argue with you about how strange this is, because I want to get where we're going."_

_"Good," he says as he helps her with the blindfold. "I can guarantee you're going to love it," he whispers in her ear, making her shiver. "Now let's get you in the car." He takes her by the hand and leads her to the front passenger seat. He helps her inside and closes the door._

 

_"Okay," Grant says, standing right behind Skye, "we're here."_

_"You do know that I still can't see anything, right?" Skye points out, gesturing to the blindfold still tied across her eyes. "And I still can't believe you actually made me wear this. I'll tell you something right now; this is definitely not what I had in mind when I bought this thing."_

_"Well, lucky for you," he leans down to her ear and whispers huskily, "there will be plenty of time for all of that later." He stands up straight again and speaks in a normal level voice, "For now, the most amazing surprise of your life."_

_"Are you sure of that?" she asks him with a small smile._

_"Positive," he says, reaching up to remove the blindfold from her eyes. When he brings the blindfold away from her eyes, he hears her gasp at the sight in front of her._

_In front of her, she sees the Golden Gate Bridge, the sunlight behind it making it looking more amazing than it already is. They are standing in the grassy field of a nearby park, a blanket set out with a picnic basket set on top of it. There is a bottle of champagne as well._

_Skye quickly turns around and faces Grant, smiling brightly up at him. "Did you seriously bring me all the way to the Golden Gate Bridge for a picnic in the park?" she asks him._

_"Happy Anniversary," he smiles down at her._

_She reaches up with her hands and grabs his face, pulling him down towards herself. She smashes her lips to his, sliding her hands back to wrap around his neck. After a quick moment, he responds, kissing her back, and wrapping his own arms around her waist._

_When they pull away, she rests her forehead against his, "I love you," she tells him._

_"I love you too," he smiles. "Now let's eat." He grabs her hand in his and drags her down to sit on the soft blanket._

 

_Skye grabs a grape from her plate and pops it into her mouth, glancing back behind her at the large bridge._

_"Skye?"_

_At hearing her name, she quickly turns back around to face Grant. He's sitting across from her, looking right at her._

_"Yeah?" she asks him._

_"Why do you keep looking back at the bridge?"_

_She shrugs, popping another grape into her mouth._

_"Come on, Skye. There has to be a reason you keep looking back at it."_

_"It's pretty," she says nonchalantly. He raises an eyebrow. She sighs, "Fine. It's because I want to make sure it's still there."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah. I've never been able to see these amazing sights growing up, and sometimes it just seems so surreal. So I keep looking back to make sure that it's still there. And not just a dream or something."_

_He looks at her with a smile, "Give me your phone."_

_"What?"_

_"Your phone," he repeats. "I'm going to take a picture so you'll always have something to prove to yourself that you were here."_

_She smiles and reaches into her bag, pulling out her phone. She hands it to him and he slides the camera icon upwards, getting the camera ready._

_"Alright," he says, holding the phone up, "smile." She does as he says and he snaps the photo. He brings the phone down so he can look at the photo more closely._

_"Oh here!" she says. "Get this shot!"_

_He holds the phone back up and snaps the photo. Smiling, he holds the phone down in front of him, examining the photo._

_He smiles up at her, "Definitely getting this one printed."_

* * *

His favorite part of the picture, by far, is the fact that she is in the foreground. She is facing him, making a kissy face towards him. One of her hands is held out slightly, blowing the kiss to him. Her long brown hair is billowing gently in the wind, some of it in her face. The sun is shining behind her, making her look even more beautiful than she actually is. He loves that photo of her. He has a smaller version of it tucked in his wallet. The edges of it are worn because of the amount of times he has pulled it out and just held it. He can't help himself from doing that, because she's no longer, physically, there; but having that photo makes it seem like she still is in some way. He just wishes she really was still there.

"Ward?"

He lifts his head up to see Simmons standing in the doorway to his bunk. "Yeah?"

"We'll be touching down in about five minutes," she tells him.

"Thanks Simmons," he replies. "And you know you can call me Grant."

"Well," Simmons says with a small smile, "Coulson would like to run through things once more with you, Grant."

"I'll be there," he smiles sadly. No one has called him Grant since Skye. She was the last person to call him that. He misses hearing her say his name. The way she said it, he doesn't know why, but it was so different from how anyone else said it.

Setting the photo back on his nightstand, he stands up from his bed and exits the bunk, heading to the briefing room. He listens as Coulson goes over a few final mission details with him and then he's off. Off to face the man who took the love of his life away from him.

* * *

_"Alright Grant,"_  he hears Simmons say through his comm.,  _"make sure that if and when you administer the serum to the soldiers, it is in the back of their neck, otherwise it won't work."_

"I got it," he says back. "Thanks. Charlie, how much further?"

_"Umm, about two more feet. Then you should come to a door on your right."_

A few minutes later, he reaches the door.

"I'm here," he says into his comm.

He reaches forward and twists the door handle, finding the door already unlocked. He pushes the door open and steps inside.

"I'm inside," he announces, walking further into the room. The lights are off. He pulls out a flashlight and switches it on, shining it around the room, his gun out as well. He turns all around the room, checking to see if anyone else is in there. "No one's in here," he says into his comm., continuing to check the room.

As he does so, his eye catches sight of something on the floor. Looking down, he sees a large, dried puddle of something. Crouching down closer, he gets a better look at what it is. Blood.

His eyes go wide and he stands back up, moving quickly backwards towards the door. All the memories of that horrible day come flooding back all at once. He quickly turns around to rush out of the room and then bumps into someone standing in the doorway.

"No," Grant says and then everything goes black.

* * *

Waking up with a great pain at the back of his head, he lifts his head and winces at the pain. He tries to reach his hand up to touch it, but realizes that both of his hands are restrained. He struggles against the restraints as much as he can, trying to break free.

"It is pointless to be doing that," he hears a voice say. But it isn't just a regular voice, there's an accent there.

"Who are you?" he shouts.

"I don't think I need to tell you that," the voice says again. The figure steps out of the shadows into Grant's view and he gasps. Then he scowls and struggles again to get out of his restraints.

"Vladislav," he spits out.

"So nice to see you again Agent Ward," Vladislav says in his thick Russian accent.

"I would say the same; except for the fact that I'd much rather kill you right about now."

"Oh. But that would be counterproductive, you see."

"How do you mean?" Grant asks.

He stops struggling, realizing that whatever is holding him is digging into his skin, and he isn't going to get out anytime soon.

"You'll find out soon enough," he begins pacing slowly. "But what I want to know, what I'm dying to know, is how you and your team found me."

"That's easy. You made a mistake. We've had you flagged in the system for years now. And when you decided to resurface and kill that man, well, your M.O. popped in the system. Some digging was done and we found you. We found you, you sick son of a—"

"Enough!" Vladislav shouts. "What I really want to know, is why you are here."

"To take you down. We came to take you down."

"So the rest of your team is here too, yes? Except for one person, what was her name? Oh that's right," Vladislav stops pacing and turns to look at Grant, an evil smirk on his lips, "Skye."

Grant's jaw clenches, as do his fists, and it takes all of his willpower not to try and break free from the chains holding him back. "Don't you dare say her name," Grant says angrily. "You have no right to say her name. You tortured her! You had her killed!"

"That is right. I did. And in this very room too. Though I take it you have noticed that," he smirks. "And do you know why I tortured her?" Grant doesn't respond. "I tortured her because you refused to give me the codes for SHIELD's mainframe," he informs him. "And I realized that you wouldn't give me what I wanted without some kind of incentive."

"But you still killed her," Grant says through gritted teeth. "Even  _after_  I gave you the codes."

"You made me wait," Vladislav shrugs. "And I hate waiting for things."

"Then how come you didn't just kill me when I refused the first time?"

"I have my reasons. Reasons that you do not need to know. However, there is something else I want to know from you. But before you answer, let me introduce you to my little friend here." He pulls something out of his back pocket and holds it up, "Do you know what this is Agent Ward?"

Grant looks at it, trying to figure out exactly what it is. He shakes his head, "I don't know."

"What a shame. I was hoping you'd remember, as I'm sure your little girlfriend would remember it very clearly."

Grant's eyes go wide with realization, "No."

"Oh yes," Vladislav smiles. "Now, I'm going to ask you a question. If you do not answer correctly, there will be consequences. Understand?" Grant doesn't answer. Vladislav turns on the stick, the energy coursing through it, and sticks it in Grant's side. He bites his lip to keep from crying out in pain. Now is not the time to show weakness.

"Do you understand?" Vladislav asks him again.

Grant nods his head this time. "What do you want?" he spits out.

"Well you see, after you gave me what I wanted, I tried to get into SHIELD's mainframe with your codes. However, it would not let me into the system. So either, you purposely gave me the wrong codes, or you alerted SHIELD as to what was going on. So I had to move on to other projects."

"What makes you think I didn't do both?" Grant says.

Vladislav frowns and turns up the voltage, pressing the stick into Grant's side again. This time, the voltage so high, Grant can't help but scream out in pain.

* * *

 

_"His heart rate keeps spiking sir,"_  Simmons says through the comm. to Coulson. He and May are carefully making their way through the building, trying to locate Grant.

"Thanks Simmons. Keep us updated," Coulson says back, peeking around the corner. He and May round the corner, checking to make sure everything is clear.

"Please, you don't have to do this." They both hear someone say. It's faint, but they can both tell the person is yelling.

"Did that sound like Ward to you?" Coulson asks May. She nods her head. "Let's go," he tells her, and they hurry down the hallway.

"I'm begging you to stop!" They hear him scream again.

"It's too late for that!" They hear another voice exclaim.

They both turn their heads to each other and their eyes go wide. "Vladislav," they say at the same time.

They both break into a full speed run towards the end of the hallway.

"Why are you doing this? What else do you want from me?"

"I want you to die! I want you to die like your little girlfriend did!"

Coulson and May run even faster, trying to find the room he is in. "No!" They hear Grant exclaim. And then they hear the worst sound ever. A gunshot.

They pause in their steps, worry and fear crossing onto their faces. It doesn't take them much longer to begin running again. They run as fast as they possibly can through the hallway, trying desperately to find the correct door.

Once they find it, May kicks the door in, and the sight before them stops them briefly in their tracks. Grant is tied to a chair in the center of the room, hunched over. Vladislav is standing in front of him, a gun still in his hand, pointed at the floor.

As soon as they see him, May draws her gun, holding it up towards Vladislav. "Put down the gun Vladislav!" She yells at him.

"I didn't want to," he says, a sad expression on his face.

"What do you mean you didn't want to?" she asks him. She looks at Coulson and motions to Grant with her head. He moves towards Grant as May continues speaking with Vladislav, "Vladislav, what do you mean you didn't want to?"

"Papa," he says. "I did it for Papa."

"You did what for your Papa?"

"I kill. I kill for Papa. I don't want to. Papa makes me."

"Tell me who your Papa is, Vladislav. We can help you."

"No one can help. Not from Papa." Vladislav holds the gun up to his head and May can see a few tears escape his eyes.

"Vladislav, don't do this."

"I'm sorry," he says, and then he pulls the trigger.

"No!" May exclaims as she watches Vladislav fall to the floor, a pool of blood immediately forming underneath of his head. She lowers her gun, clicking the safety back on before holstering it. She takes a deep breath and then walks over to where Coulson is.

"How is he?" she asks, kneeling down beside Coulson.

"I found a pulse," Coulson tells her, "but it's very faint. It looks like he's been shot."

"Where?"

"Almost the exact same place where Skye was shot."

May pauses for a moment, "Okay. Let's get him back to the BUS."

"I can't get the chains off his hands."

"Pick up the chair."

"It's bolted to the floor," he informs her.

She sighs, grabbing her gun once again. She flips the safety off and stands up.

"What are you doing?" he asks her.

"Stand back," May tells him. "We're gonna get out of here." She positions herself behind the chair, aiming her gun at the chains restricting Grant. She fires once, twice, three times. The chains break and fall to the ground below them.

Due to no longer having anything holding him back, Grant begins to slump forward. Coulson catches him before he falls completely to the floor. May holsters her gun once more and then helps Coulson with Grant.

"What about Vladislav?" May asks.

"Just leave him," Coulson says. "We have no use for him." May nods her head. "Let's get Ward back to the BUS."

They begin walking out of the room when they hear Grant start to mumble something. They stop momentarily.

"Ward?" Coulson says. "Ward? What is it?"

"Ss..." Grant tries to get out, "Ssk...Skye."

Both May and Coulson look at each other, neither one exactly sure what to say. But he doesn't say anything else so neither feels the need to say anything.

* * *

"Get him on the table!" Simmons exclaims as she follows Coulson and May into the lab on the Bus. "What happened?"

"He was tortured and shot in the abdomen," May explains. "By Vladislav."

Simmons' eyes go wide, "But that's..."

"We know," Coulson says, "just do the best you can."

Simmons nods in understanding and then begins her work, shouting orders for Fitz to help her as she does so. They work as fast as they can, trying to get him to stay with them.

They hear him mumble, Coulson and May suspect it is the same as before. "Skye..." he trails off. They all look at each other.

Coulson speaks up first, "Ward. Skye isn't here."

"Skye..." he says again.

Coulson sighs, "Skye is gone, Ward. She has been for five years."

"Come back to us Ward," Charlie says quietly, from her spot off to the side. "Please."

"He isn't responding," Simmons exclaims after a quiet moment.

"Do something," Coulson says, "fast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What did you think? Let me know in a review down below!
> 
> Also, if you're interested in being a part of my other story Luck of the Draw, I'm still looking for some more twitter handles to be featured. Let me know if you want in. :)
> 
> Until next time,  
> Jellybean96 out!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babes! Here's the newest chapter for you all. After this one, there will only be one more and then it's over. :( But it's been a fun time.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Please, you don't have to do this," Grant says to Vladislav as he eyes the gun in the Russian's hand. "I'm begging you to stop!" he shouts.

"It's too late for that!" Vladislav shouts back.

"Why are you doing this? What else do you want from me?" he asks.

"I want you to die. I want you to die like your little girlfriend did all those years ago."

Grant's eyes go wide, "No!" He moves around, trying to break free from his bonds once more, no longer looking at Vladislav. All too soon, he hears it. The gunshot. And then he feels it. He can feel the blood dripping from his body onto the floor below him. He hunches over in pain, his eyes closing. Slowly, the room around him begins to fade. The last thing he hears is the door breaking down, and May's voice screaming at Vladislav.

* * *

Grant's eyes slowly start to open, squinting at the bright lights shining down on him. As his eyes adjust, he carefully sits up, starting to look around.

As he looks around, he takes in his surroundings. Everything is white.  _Am I in a hospital?_  He looks down and notices he's on the ground, not in a bed.  _So I'm not in a hospital._  He also notices his clothes; he's wearing the same clothes he was when he went to find Vladislav. Except for one small thing. There's no hole in his shirt. There's no blood either. He doesn't know what's going on, and he starts to freak out.

Then he hears voices. Two voices. Female voices. He turns his head and sees two figures walking towards him in deep conversation with each other. They both have long brown hair that falls down behind their backs. One of the women is taller than the other. The taller woman is wearing a long, crème colored, strapless dress that reaches down to her ankles. There is a thin gold belt wrapped around her waist. The shorter woman is wearing a very similar dress, only hers is light blue, and goes down to about her knee. Wrapped around the middle of the dress is a thin silver belt.

As they get closer to him, he can start to see their facial features. When he gets a better look at the shorter woman, his breath catches in his throat.

"Ss…Sk…Skye?"

The shorter woman looks at him and she stops, her breath catching as well, "Grant?"

Grant stands up and walks towards her slowly, not sure if she's really there in front of him. And then he lets his heart take over and he's holding her in his arms, burying his face deep in her hair. He can't believe he's actually hugging her again after five years of having to live without her.

When he pulls away, he looks at her with a few tears building in his eyes. He just looks her up and down, thinking she looks more beautiful than ever.

"Grant," Skye says, getting his attention, "what are you doing here?"

"I don't even know where  _here_  is," he tells her honestly.

She turns to the woman next to her, worry on her face, "Why is he here? Why didn't someone tell me?"

"I don't know, sweetheart. They never tell us who's coming in. We're only supposed to find them and bring them to the gates," the older woman explains.

Skye turns back to Grant and before she can say anything, he opens his mouth, "I don't mean to be rude, but who is she?"

"Sorry," Skye smiles sheepishly. "Grant, I'd like you to meet Isabelle, my mom," she grabs the other woman's hand in her own.

His eyes go wide, "Your mom? You actually found her?"

Skye smiles wide, "I did. It actually wasn't too long after I got here. She was the one who was sent for me."

"Wait. Your mom is dead. And you're dead. So if I'm here with the both of you, then that means that I'm—"

"Not yet," Isabelle cuts him off.

"What do you mean, 'not yet'?"

Isabelle steps forward, focusing on Grant, "You're not completely dead. This is kind of like your consciousness. Your mind, thoughts, and feelings are up here, waiting for your body to die. While your body is still alive, your mind can't fully be free up here. Because it's still attached to a living thing."

"So, I'm not dead."

She shakes her head, "Not really, not yet."

"So I'm going to die."

"Not necessarily," Skye says now, stepping forward. "If the others are trying to save you, then there's a chance that your mind could leave here and rejoin your body back on Earth."

"What if I don't want to go back?" Grant says.

"You need to," Skye tells him.

"Skye, no" he shakes his head. He reaches forward and takes both of her hands in his, "I'm finally with you again. I have you back. I'm not going to let you go again. It's my fault you're here anyways," he looks away from her.

Skye steps closer to him and drops one of his hands, placing her hand on his cheek, turning his face towards her own. "Listen to me," she says, "what happened to me is not your fault. You didn't beat me, you didn't torture me, and you didn't kill me. You tried to save me."

"And I couldn't. If I could have done something to save you, we wouldn't be here like this."

"None of that matters now," she tells him. "And maybe it was supposed to be that way. I always knew there was a piece of me, a little piece of my past that was missing. I was happy when Coulson told me that I did indeed have parents who wanted me, but I still didn't feel complete. When I came here, I found my mom. And my dad too. They're both here. And I feel whole again. Maybe I was supposed to die that day so I could find my family. He works in mysterious ways, trust me on that." She gives him a small smile.

"I can feel myself pulling away," he informs her. "I can feel myself pulling away from them. I'm feeling a bit stronger, not so weak and famished."

"That's your body dying," Isabelle provides. "Your mind is cutting off ties with your body and becoming its own form."

"You hear that Skye?" he turns to the woman in question. "We can finally be together forever. Just like we wanted. We can spend the rest of our lives together."

Skye has tears in her eyes and she shakes her head, "But we can't. As much as I would love to be selfish and keep you to myself, they need you. The team needs you. Especially that girl Charlie. She seems nice."

He shrugs, "She's okay. I was hesitant at first, but after getting to know her, she's a pretty cool person."

"Then tell her that. Tell everyone that you care about them. I didn't get to and I regret that, but you might still be able to."

"How am I supposed to do that?" he asks her. Then he feels his body jerk backwards. He looks at Skye, "Skye, what's happening?"

"They're trying to resuscitate you," she tells him. His body jerks again.

"Please don't let them bring me back. I don't want to leave you," he pleads. His body jerks again.

"I'm so sorry Grant," she whispers, tears falling from her eyes. "This is what's best. I'll see you when it's time again. But please, live a happy life. Okay?"

"It won't be a happy life if you're not in it."

"Try anyways. For me," she gives him a weak smile.

"Fine. But how do I get back?"

"Like this," she says as she steps forward. She reaches up and presses a gentle kiss to his lips, his eyes closing in pure delight. And then he feels weightless. He opens his eyes and sees Skye standing above him, getting farther away. She pushed him. She pushed him so he would fall back to Earth into his body. He sees her say something, but he doesn't know what. He doesn't want to leave her; he wants to stay up there with her and her parents. But he can't now. She wants him to go back so he can live a good life. And that's what he's going to do. Or, try to do.

* * *

"How's he looking, Simmons?" Coulson asks.

"Not good sir," she says, rushing around. "His vitals keep rising and falling significantly. It's hard to keep him stable. I did, however, manage to patch up his wound."

"Is there anything else that can be done?" Charlie asks, standing up from her spot in the corner, not even bothering to hide the worry she has for her S.O.

Simmons looks at the young girl, "There is, actually, one more thing I could try." She looks to Coulson.

"Do it," he says, with a stoic look on his face.

Simmons nods her head and then digs around for the device she needs. A defibrillator. Pulling it out, she runs back to Grant and sets the device down, getting it ready. She places the two electrodes on his chest and turns to the machine. "Charging," she says aloud, "Clear." His body jerks but nothing happens.

"Charging," she says again, "Clear." His body jerks again and still nothing happens.

"Charging," she says, a few tears escaping her eyes, "Clear." His body jerks for a third time and nothing happens.

She turns back to the machine when she feels a hand on her shoulder. She turns her head to see Fitz standing behind her, a sad look in his eyes.

"He's gone, Jemma," he tells her quietly.

She lets the tears fall and turns to put the machine away when she hears something. Thinking it's Grant, she turns to look at him. But he's not moving.

 _One more time Jemma,_  she hears someone say,  _I promise you it'll work._

Shocked, but still believing, she turns to the machine, ready to use it again.

"Simmons, what are you doing?" Fitz asks. "We all want him back, but he's gone now."

"It's going to work," she tells the entire group, "trust me on this. I know it's going to work." She looks at Grant and then at the machine. "Charging," she says, "Clear." His body jerks.

Everyone just stares at his body, waiting for the slightest indication that it worked. When nothing happens, Simmons feels the tears again. "I don't understand," she exclaims. "She said it would work. She said that if I did it again, it'd work."

"Who did?" Charlie asks.

"Skye," Simmons tells her. "I heard her voice telling me to use the machine one more time. She promised me that it would work. She…" Simmons trails off when she hears it. The slight beeping sound none of them thought they'd hear again. Grant's heartbeat. Sharply turning around, Simmons looks at the screen that is keeping track of Grant's vitals. The line that represents his heart beat begins moving. It's moving up and down at a steady rate. A smile grows on her face. "Thank you Skye," she whispers. "Thank you for giving him back to us." She doesn't know if Skye can actually hear her, but if the warm feeling she suddenly gets is any indication, she thinks she can.

They all turn to Grant, looking at him and waiting for something to happen. And then something does happen. His eyes shoot open and he takes a deep breath through his mouth. He sits up abruptly and looks around.

"Where am I?" he asks.

"You're on the BUS," Coulson tells him, stepping forward.

"Charlie," he says next, looking around the room for the girl in question. "Where's Charlie?"

Charlie steps forward, looking at Grant as she does so. "I'm right here," she says, stepping up next to the table.

When he sees her, he grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her into a bone-crushing hug. "I'm sorry," he says into her ear.

She leans back slightly and looks at him, "Sorry for what?"

"For not believing in you. And for not trusting you like I trusted Skye. I was wrong. You're a great addition to this team. You have been for a while now."

"I don't know what brought all this on, but thank you. That means a lot," she smiles kindly at him.

He smiles back and then lets go of her, allowing her to step back. He turns to Simmons, "Thank you Jemma, for saving my life just now. I know you worked hard to do it."

"Well I wasn't going to let you escape so easily," she smiles.

He turns to Fitz, "Fitz. You're a great friend. You remind me a bit of my little brother, and that's something I really need. Thank you."

"You're a great friend as well," Fitz says with a smile.

He turns to May, "May, thanks for helping me to keep my head straight those first few months. I don't know where I'd be if you didn't."

She just gives him a hint of a smile and a nod of her head.

And finally, he turns to Coulson, "Sir, Coulson. Thank you, for everything. For basically forcing me to join the team and teaching me how to be a good agent."

"There wasn't much to teach you," Coulson smiles. "But you're welcome."

Grant takes a deep breath and then looks around the room at all of the people he cares most about. Now that he thinks about it, he's kind of glad he came back. He's sure that if he had stayed up there, he'd be missing out on a lot.

"Skye's thankful too," he says after a moment.

Everyone, except Simmons, stares at him like he is just a bit strange.

"Did she speak to you too?" Simmons asks.

Grant nods his head, "And I saw her."

"You did?"

"Yes," he smiles, "for a little while. Up there," he points upwards with his finger. "She explained it to me, but I didn't exactly understand. But I wasn't completely dead, and that's sort of how I was able to come back here."

"What do you mean?" Charlie asks, stepping forward.

"I felt my body jerking back a lot, and she told me it was because you were trying to resuscitate me. I didn't want to leave at first, but then she shoved me. I could feel myself slowly falling and I saw her say something, but I didn't know what she said."

"That's probably when I heard her voice!" Simmons exclaims. "The others told me to stop using the defibrillator, but then I heard her telling me to use it one last time. So I did. And that's when you came back to us."

Grant smiles, "She told me she'd see me again when the time is right. She told me to live a happy life. And to tell you all how much I care about you. So I just want you guys to know, I'm sorry if I've been a bit of a jerk lately, and have been keeping to myself. It won't be like that anymore. I can promise you that."

"That's great," May says, "but we're just glad you're back again."

He smiles, "Thank you. And I plan on being here for quite some time. Now, why don't we go and do some team bonding. It's been a while since we've done that. And I think it's about time we got to know each other again."

The rest of the team nods their heads in agreement and they all file out of the lab, leaving Grant a moment to himself.

Looking up at the ceiling, he smiles. "Thank you Skye," he whispers. "Thank you for everything. I promise you I'll live a good life. But don't forget that I'll always love you."

Sighing, Grant jumps down from the table, taking a minute to steady himself on his legs. He still feels a little weak, but that's only natural after what he went through. Taking a few deep breathes, he stands up fully on both legs, making his way out of the lab.

Walking towards the spiral staircase, he can already hear the rest of his team debating over what to do for some team bonding.

He smiles to himself.  _This is nice. This is the first day of my new life. And I'm going to make sure it's a good one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What did you think? Let me know in a review below.
> 
> Also, I know that canonically, Skye's mom is Jiaying, but I wrote this way before we found that out. And I'm not a huge fan of Jiaying, so yeah. I'm keeping to my own personal headcanon's and stuff.
> 
> Until next time,  
> Jellybean96 out!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babes! Here's the last chapter of this story. Hope you enjoy it!

As soft, calming music plays through the speakers sitting on either side of the front of the large room at the Hub, people slowly trickle in. People from every section of SHIELD file inside, all dressed up in their nicest clothes, quietly greeting one another and making their way to their seats.

"You know, I always thought I'd be the first one to go," an older man says from his seat at the front of the room. His hair is thin and grey, and he's got a few wrinkles surrounding the corners of his eyes and mouth.

The woman next to him turns her head to look at him. "Don't worry, Phil," she smiles softly, "I'm sure you'll be next." She places one of her hands on his and gives it a gentle squeeze. He looks at her and smiles. She still has her long black hair, now with bits of gray running through it, and she still looks like the woman he's known for years, not seeming to have aged at all.

"Thank you for that, Melinda," he says back with a smile. "That's exactly what a man my age wants to hear right now." They both chuckle and then turn back to the front and wait for the service to begin.

"Are these seats taken?" Phil and Melinda both turn their heads to see Leo and Jemma Fitz-Simmons standing in front of them. Leo now looks much older than he once did, having lost the childlike quality of his face and gained a bit of scruff. Jemma looks much like she did years before, though it is clear that she has aged. Her hair is a bit shorter than it once was and a bit darker in color.

"Leo, Jemma," Phil greets them, slowly standing up from his chair, "it's great to see you two again."

"Likewise, Sir," Leo says, shaking the older man's hand.

"I'm no longer your Commanding Officer," Phil tells him, "haven't been for a while. That means you can call me Phil."

"Okay, Phil," Leo smiles gently at him.

"Same goes for you Jemma," Phil looks at the woman next to Leo.

"Of course, Phil," Jemma smiles kindly. The two scientists smile at each other and then move to sit down next to Melinda, smiling at her as well.

"Leo, Jemma," Melinda acknowledges them as they sit down, "good to see you again."

"It's good to see you as well, May," Leo says.

"Melinda, please," she smiles softly.

"Alright, Melinda," Leo says back.

"How are the twins doing?" Phil asks, leaning forward slightly in his seat to be able to see the scientists.

"They're doing great, actually," Jemma says with a grin. "Stephen over looks the Science and Technology department at one of the overseas branches now. Apparently he really loves it there. He told me that Hannah isn't particularly happy about all the time he spends there for missions and things, but he knows that she's happy for him. And Skylar, well, I believe she's off traveling with the biology department to another country for some new research project this month. And I believe Michael went with her as well, something about a second honeymoon, I think. They do wish they could have been here, though. Michael told me that Skylar cried all night when she found out."

"Poor girl," Melinda says. "And it's okay that they aren't here. I'm sure he would want them to continue with their work rather than drop everything to worry about him."

"You're probably right," Leo pipes in. "I just can't believe he's really gone. It's still so hard to believe."

"Absolutely," Melinda nods her head. "Phil was just saying how he thought he'd be the first to go."

"Don't talk like that Phil," Jemma says, "you're perfectly healthy. I'd actually be a bit surprised if you had been first."

"Thank you, Jemma," he smiles kindly.

"Room for one more?" The four adults turn their heads to see a young woman standing in front of them. She still looks rather young; her hair is still the same length, though it's not up in a ponytail as she had always worn it when they worked together. She is looking at all of them hesitantly, as she hasn't seen any of them in many years since the team was disbanded and they all went their own path.

"Absolutely," Jemma smiles, tapping the spot right next to her. "There's always room for you, Charlie."

"Thanks," she smiles back, walking to take the seat next to Jemma. "It's really great to see you all again. It's been a while."

"That is has," Jemma replies. "Bit of a sad way to reconnect with old friends, but it is what it is." Jemma gives the younger woman a smile and then sits back in her chair.

...

The music in the room slowly fades out and a man steps up to the podium, looking out at everyone gathered together. He takes a deep breath and then speaks, "Today we are here to celebrate the life of Agent Grant Douglas Ward. Grant was a dedicated and loyal Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. for many years. He worked alone for his first few years with this organization and was then sent to work on a hand-picked special response team under the command of Agent Phil Coulson. He was an exceptional person in every sense of the word and it's a shame to see him gone. He will be missed, but he is in a better place now." The man pauses, letting things sink in for everyone there. "The floor is now open to anyone who would like to share a few words about Grant." He steps away from the mic and sits on a chair behind the podium, silence immediately filling up the room. There is a bit of quiet shuffling and then Phil stands up, slowly making his way up to the podium.

Once there, he looks out at the crowd and starts talking, speaking about all of the wonderful things about Grant. He tells a few key stories; shares a few of his favorite memories. He even sheds a few tears. And when he's done, he makes his way back down to his seat. As he sits back down, Melinda stands up and walks up to the podium. She says her peace, never once shedding a tear, though everyone can tell she's sad. She says many nice things, making sure everyone knows how great of a person he was.

After she takes her seat again, Leo stands up and goes to the podium. He stands up there, saying a few different things about Grant. Especially how he was such an amazing friend towards him, practically like a brother. When he is finished, Jemma stands up and goes to the podium. She also talks about how he was a great person. She cries.

When Jemma steps down, Charlie gets up and takes her place at the podium. She speaks about many of the things the others did. She tells them all how he believed in her and pushed her to be the agent she is. She lets a few tears trickle down her cheeks.

More people get up, many of them being SHIELD agents, all of them saying how great of a guy Grant was. The majority of them only knew him for a few years.

When the last guy sits back down, a young man sitting at the front of the room stands up and walks towards the podium. He stands behind it, taking a deep shaky breath before he speaks.

"Hello," he says into the microphone. "Um, my name is Andrew and Grant Ward's my father; but I haven't spoken to him in years. We used to be really close, seeing as growing up it was just the two of us. We weren't just father and son, we were best friends. And then one day five years ago, we just stopped talking. I don't even remember what we had been fighting about. I just know that I never wanted to see him again. So I didn't. I ran off with my girlfriend and never spoke to my father again."

He swallows.

"Dad never really talked to me a whole lot about his job with SHIELD; I just know that he had one and he did a lot of good things for the world." He pauses. "Something you should know about Grant is that he isn't my biological father. He adopted me when I was just a year old. He never lied to me about it, but he never made me feel like I wasn't actually his. I asked him once, when I was in the 5th or 6th grade I think, about him adopting me. I mentioned something about how we weren't really family because we weren't blood related. I remember how he just looked me straight in the eyes and said, 'Andrew, let's get in the car and go for a ride. I'm going to tell you about the greatest family I've ever known.' And then he brought me here, to the Hub, and introduced me to my Aunt Jemma and Uncle Leo, my cousins Stephen and Skylar, my Aunt Charlie, and my Papa and Nana. He told me they aren't my biological relatives, but they are basically my family. They were his team for a big part of the time he was with SHIELD, and because of that, they became his family. And because they were his family, they're my family too." He pauses.

"My dad told me that family doesn't have to be blood related, because a family is the people who love you and care for you no matter what happens. My dad did just that, and that makes him the greatest guy I've ever known. I love my dad, and I just wish I could have told him that one last time. Now I'll never get to see him again and tell him all the things I wanted to tell him over the last five years." He has tears trickling down his face, and he looks up, "I'm so sorry dad. I never meant any of the hurtful things I said to you over the years. I love you and miss you. So much." Looking back down, everyone can see the tears on his face. Jemma stands up from her spot and rushes forward to Andrew and wraps him in a hug. He wraps his arms around her and buries his head in her shoulder, "I can't believe he's really gone."

Andrew cries into his Aunt's shoulder. She runs his back up and down, soothing him, "I know Andy, I know." Turning the two of them around, Jemma guides Andrew back to his seat before taking her own seat once again.

* * *

Grant slowly blinks his eyes open, taking in his surroundings. Everything is white and there are no other people around him. A short moment later, his eyes go wide in realization of where he is. He looks up to see a figure walking towards him.

"Skye!" he exclaims, sitting up quickly and staring at the figure making its way towards him. As the figure walks closer to him, he realizes that it's not Skye, but a man he doesn't recognize. He stands up and stays in one spot as the man walks towards him.

"No," the man says, "I'm not Skye, obviously. However, I can take you to her. Though it will be somewhat of a surprise for her."

"She doesn't know I'm here again?" Grant asks.

"No, she doesn't. I was told not to tell her that you were arriving. But if you'd like, I can take you to her now."

"Okay," Grant says hesitantly, stepping closer to the man. "Can I ask what your name is though?"

"Michael. My name is Michael

"Alright, Michael. Take me to Skye."

Michael smiles, "Follow me then," he turns around and begins walking back to where he came from.

Taking a deep breath, Grant steps forward and starts following Michael, mentally preparing himself to see Skye once again.

...

"Skye?"

Looking up from her book, Skye smiles when she sees Michael walking through the door towards her. "Hey Michael," she says, standing up and embracing the man in a hug. When she pulls away, she looks at him, "So, you got to pick up the new guy. How was it?"

"It was alright," Michael replies, "he's nice."

"That's good. I hate when we have to pick up the ones who are kind of snotty. That's never any fun."

"Yeah. So, do you want to meet the new guy I picked up?"

"Um, isn't that a little bit against protocol? Aren't you supposed to take the new guy to the Big Guy?"

"Not if the instructions I got were to bring the new guy to you."

"Why would you bring the new guy to me?"

"Because—"

"Because he thought you'd like to see me again."

Looking behind Michael, Skye sees a man walking through the door and she gasps, holding one hand up to her mouth. She removes her hand and opens her mouth to speak, a few tears filling her eyes. "Grant?" she asks in disbelief, and then hurries forward, jumping into his awaiting arms and looping her own arms around his neck. He happily hugs her back, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. When she pulls away, she looks him straight in the eyes. "So, you're the new guy."

"I guess so," he shrugs. "Michael here picked me up and brought me to you. Told me he was supposed to."

"Yeah. He just told me the same thing."

Michael steps forward and interrupts the reunited pair, "I'm going to go and see if the Big Guy needs me for anything, okay?"

"Yeah," Skye says, "I'll see you later."

"Bye," Grant waves to Michael as he walks away. When Michael leaves the room, Grant and Skye turn back to each other, smiles on their faces.

Skye pulls from Grant's embrace and grabs his hand, tugging him towards the large couch in the center of the room. "So," she says, sitting down on the couch and pulling Grant down next to her, "what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Grant furrows his brows.

"What happened?" Skye repeats. "How did you die?"

"Oh. It was, uh, it was a mission gone wrong. I don't really remember everything, but something went wrong and the next thing I knew I woke up out there."

"So nobody had your back out there?"

"I was on a solo mission."

"But you've gone on plenty of solo missions before and there's always been someone on the other side of the comm."

"The comms went down while I was in the field. I'm not sure why, but they went down and I couldn't make contact with anyone. I was trying to get out and something happened, I'm not sure exactly what, but everything just went black. And I'm not even sure how long things were black for, but when I woke up, I was out there like I was last time."

"Wow. I'm sorry that no one was there for you."

He shrugs again, "It's alright. I was getting kind of slow to be honest, I wasn't moving quite as fast as I used to."

"Please," Skye rolls her eyes, "I'm sure that even if you were a hundred years old out on a mission, you'd still be moving as fast as you did when you first started as an Agent. Your creators probably would have just programmed it in."

He laughs, "I never thought I'd miss hearing you make robot jokes about me. But I'm really glad to hear it again."

She smiles, "Good, because we have an eternity to crack more. And also, I just have to say, I am really glad for the whole 'restoring someone to their prime' thing, right now."

"Huh?"

Skye smiles, "You were old when you died. But when you came up here, it restored you to the moment of your prime. Which for you, is about your mid-30's. So right around when we were dating."

"Interesting," Grant remarks.

"Yeah, it is pretty interesting." There's a pause before Skye speaks up again, "So, after I sent you back last time, what did you do?"

"Well," he takes a deep breath, "I kept working for SHIELD for a while, and I uh, I started a family."

"You got married?" Skye asks him.

"Uh, no. I actually adopted a one-year-old boy. He's obviously an adult now, but his name's Andrew."

"That's your brother's name."

"Yeah. I thought it was funny when I realized that's what his name was."

"So what's your kid like?"

"I actually, I don't really know. We kind of stopped talking five years ago."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. And the sad part about it is, I don't even remember why we stopped talking."

"And you never got to make up?"

Grant sighs sadly, "No. Unfortunately we didn't. I wish we would have, because I really do love him like he was my own flesh and blood."

Skye reaches forward and places a hand on his knee, "I'm sure he knows that."

He looks down and intertwines their fingers, "I really hope he does, because I don't have any way of telling him."

"I'm so sorry."

His head shoots up, "Wait! The first time I came here, didn't you say something to Jemma? Couldn't I just do something like that with Andrew?"

Skye shakes her head sadly, "I don't think so. It takes a while to be able to communicate with the living like that. I had finally mastered how to do it just a few days before all of that happened."

"So you're saying there's no way for me to talk to my son?"

"Not right now there isn't."

"So I have to wait?"

Skye nods her head, "Yeah."

"Couldn't you do it?"

"Theoretically, yes. But I don't have an emotional connection with him or anything, so it will probably be a lot harder to do."

"Could you at least try?"

"Maybe later, okay? There's plenty of time for that. You just got here."

He smiles, "Yeah." He grabs her hands in his, "I'm here. I'm finally here with you. And you're not going to send me back again, are you?"

"Not a chance," she smiles. "This is when you were meant to be here."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she nods her head. "You were meant to adopt Andrew and live a good life."

"Well what about you? Were you meant to die when you did?"

"Everything happens when it's supposed to," she tells him. "I may have died an awful death. But it was for a reason. I may not know all of those reasons, but I do know that I was supposed to die when I did."

"But that doesn't matter now," Grant tells her, "because we're together again. And that's all I care about right now. Besides Andrew of course, I just worry about him."

"I'm sure he'll be fine. Being raised by you, I'm sure he turned out to be a good, strong young man. He's probably going to mourn for a little while, maybe close himself off for a bit, but he'll be fine. He'll be sad when he sees something that reminds him of you, but ultimately, he'll be okay."

He smiles at her, "You know, you've gotten really wise."

"Death can do that to you," she laughs. "Now, let's get you all settled in up here."

"Where am I going to stay?" he asks her.

She smiles, "With me."

"Really?"

She shrugs, "Why not? I mean, we were living together back on the Bus. It makes sense for us to live together now."

He smiles bright, "I like that idea."

She smiles back just as bright, "Me too. Now come on, I still have to take you to go see the Big Guy."

"The Big Guy?" he asks her, a bit confused.

"Yeah. The Big Guy. He's kind of the one in charge around here. Usually you're supposed to go to him right after you arrive, but I guess in this case he wanted you to come see me first."

"Smart guy," Grant smiles.

"He is very smart. More wise than smart though. Wisest of us all. But we don't have to go and see Him right away, if you don't want to. I'm sure He won't mind. We can let you get settled in first before you go and talk to Him."

Grant shakes his head, "Nope. If I'm supposed to go and talk to Him, then that's what I'm going to do."

"Really?"

Grant nods his head, "Of course. Take me to this guy so I can get initiated, or whatever it is you do. And then I can get all settled in."

"Alright then," she smiles, standing up from the couch and holding her hand out to him, "follow me."

He smiles back, grabbing her hand in his and allowing her to lead him from the room.

* * *

After the service is over, everyone gathers together in a different room at the Hub to mingle and talk with each other. Everyone makes sure to spread their deepest condolences to the team and Andrew. Although Andrew doesn't know many of the people who come up to him, he does his best to put on a smile and be polite. Most of the time though, he's just going through the motions, not really caring about all of the people telling him how sorry they are about his father.

"Excuse me," he says to a man, before he can start speaking to him, "I'm getting a little thirsty. I'm just going to go and grab a quick drink."

"Certainly," the man nods his head as Andrew turns and walks away in the direction of the drink table.

When he reaches it, he grabs a plastic cup and fills it with some water. He brings it up to his lips to take a sip when he hears a quiet voice from somewhere near him.

_Andrew_

"Who said that?" he asks, looking around the room, trying to locate the source of the voice.

_Andrew. Don't panic._

"Seriously. Who said that?" he sets his cup down and looks around hesitantly.

_My name is Skye._

"Skye what?"

_That doesn't matter. I can't speak to you for very long, the connection isn't strong enough._

"Connection?"

_No time to explain. I just want you to know that your father is here._

"What? You know my dad?"

_We used to be together. Before I died. But we never stopped loving each other._

"Skye," Andrew says, thinking to himself. "I think I remember my dad telling me stories about you when I was little. So he's really there with you?"

_Yeah, he is. And he's safe. He wants to talk to you, but he isn't able to. Listen, this connection isn't going to last for much longer, but he wants you to know that he loves you. And he completely forgives you for what happened between the two of you. He doesn't remember what happened, but he forgives you._

"I don't remember what happened either. But will you tell him that I forgive him too? And that I love him?"

_He already knows. But I'll be sure to remind him for you. I've got to go now, Andrew. But I look forward to meeting you one day. One day very far from now. Live a good life, Andrew. Goodbye._

"Bye," Andrew whispers, as he stares up at the ceiling.

"Andrew?"

Turning around, Andrew sees his Aunt Jemma standing in front of him, a concerned look on her face.

"Hey, Aunt Jemma," he says.

"Sweetheart, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost," she gives him a sad smile.

"I'm okay," he tells her.

"Andrew Ward," Jemma says a bit sternly, "I've known you for almost your entire life. I know that there's something up. So tell me."

"You'll think I'm crazy."

"Andy, in case you're forgetting. I've been working with SHIELD longer than you've been alive. I've seen some crazy stuff. Try me."

He sighs, "Fine. If you really want to know. I uh, I heard a voice, talking to me, telling me that dad is safe."

"Really? And do you know who the voice was?" she asks him, a bit intrigued.

Andrew looks at her, shocked that she actually seems to believe him, "She said her name was Skye. I think she's the one dad used to tell me stories about."

Jemma smiles and then steps forward, wrapping him in a hug, "Oh Andy. I know just what you're going through."

"You do?" he asks, pulling back from his Aunt's hug.

"Yes," she nods. "Years and years ago, I went through something very similar."

"You heard her too?"

"Yes. It was about five years after she had passed away. We went on a mission to find the man who had her killed. Your father went in and found the man. But he tortured him and shot him. When we got him back to the Bus he wasn't responding to anything we were doing. I used a defibrillator a few times but it wasn't working. I was very upset and was about to give up when I heard a voice; someone telling me to try again. I used the defibrillator again and your father came back. I knew it was Skye who told me to try again. And I'm really glad I did. Because he was back with all of us again, and he gave us you," she smiles, putting one hand on his shoulder. "Skye was my best friend when she was here. And I think in some way she still is. She cared about all of us a whole lot. And the fact that she spoke to you without even knowing you, probably because your father asked her to, that's something special. Your father asked her to speak to you, letting you know that he is alright, because he loves you. No matter what happened between the two of you, he loves you. And he will never,  _ever_  stop loving you."

He smiles back, "Thanks Aunt Jemma."

"Anytime, kiddo. Now, I'm going to go back over there and make sure your Uncle hasn't gotten himself into any trouble."

Andy chuckles, "Okay. I'll see you later." He waves to her as she walks off.

Turning back towards the drink table, he stares down at the drink on the table in front of him, sighing to himself. He doesn't like the idea that his father is gone, he doesn't like that fact that he won't be there to see his grandchild grow up. He isn't completely happy about all of this, but in some odd way, he's at peace.

It could be the fact that he was told his father didn't really suffer when he died. It could also be the fact that he was told, by the woman his father used to be with, that he's okay; that he's happy.

He smiles a little to himself at the thought of his father and Skye up there, bickering and teasing each other. His dad always told him stories of the good times he and Skye had. He knows his father is happy, being back with the woman he loves.

And in the back of his mind he hears his father's voice, speaking those words he used to tell him when he was younger.

 _Loving someone isn't always easy. But the journey you take and the hardships you face, that's what makes it all worth it in the end_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What did you think? Let me know in a review down below.
> 
> Also, I've got a few exciting new stories in the works, so subscribe to me if you want to know when those are posted. :)
> 
> Until next time,  
> Jellybean96 out!

**Author's Note:**

> So? What did you think? Let me know in a review down below. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
> 
> And yes, I know that canonically in the show, Skye's birthday is July 2, but this isn't exactly canon to the show. So yeah.
> 
> Until next time,  
> Jellybean96 out!


End file.
